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Lesson 21 Notes
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TRUTH: YOUR ARE LOVABLE.
After listening to several of you explore your destructive responses I am seeing a common destructive belief. The belief is that you are unlovable, worthless, not enough, irreparable, forgotten or insignificant. You have replaced the truth of God with the lie of what this world has taught you.
These core lies can drive sin and many of the destructive responses in your life. If you are always struggling to EARN YOUR WORTH & LOVE then your ego is working overtime to find ways to make you right or hide your flaws so you will not be rejected. You become angry, defensive, you may have low self-esteem, have shallow relationships, you may wear masks or even isolate yourself because of it.
Ephesians 2:4-5 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved.
When does God love us according to Ephesians 2:4-5?
We are loved at our worst, God has modeled this. We have been taught God is love and defines love. God set the standard not the people in your life that have put conditions on their love. This means you may need to let go of the need to earn the love of people in your life and rest in the love of God and the love of people modeling God’s love. Wouldn’t that be so freeing? Free to be you, be wrong, have flaws and still be loved.
I know that sounds like scary. The reality is a lot of this world doesn’t love like Jesus so there is a period of sifting through your relationships, losing some and putting yourself in situation to find new life giving relationships. I am not saying that you should reject the flawed people in your life, you can model love to them but you could choose to set a boundary that you will not work to earn their love by hiding who you are.
Do you fear people will judge you and leave you if you are wrong or present the real you?
Were you loved only when you were “good” or successful? Were you simply ignored? Did someone withhold love or reject you after you made a mistake?
If you are not rooted in God’s love and truth it could be time to stop and take a look at your beliefs. If you feel like your worth is based on how you perform it’s time to explore that belief.
Ephesians 3:14-21 Paul’s Prayer for Spiritual Growth
14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. 20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen. Tyndale House Publishers. (2015). Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Eph 3:14–21). Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
Homework Questions
How does the lie that you are not worthy to love affect your life?
What destructive responses can you tie to this lie?
According to Ephesians 3:14-21 what will happen if we “root” yourself in God’s love versus the world’s love?
What could the fullness of life and power look like in your life?
How is the love of Christ described v. 18-19?
How do these words which describe God’s love affect you?
Ground yourself in the truth that God loves you right now, just as your are as we explore a few more of the destructive responses in our lives.
Picture yourself as a parched plant being transplanted into the soil of God’s rich, vast love for you. You are parched and dying because you have believed yourself unlovable in some way. But now you are being planted in the heart of God’s love. Slowly, let your roots relax, and begin to take in the nourishment available in the amazing soil of love. Drink it in. Let it strengthen you with new life, new hope, new joy. Taken from “Distorted images of Self”.
Let’s explore the destructive responses of rejection and abandonment through Liz’s sharing in the video link above.
Afterwards let’s discuss one of your responses using the Destructive Response Worksheet
Click here for a copy of the the Destructive Response Worksheet.